Early education 英才教育?

Last night, I was watching the movie, "Samurai's household accounting book." In Edo era, each family has specialities and their child had to succeed them. This movie was about accountant family and father trained his son from very small. The training was sometimes severe for a small boy and almost unreasonable, but its skill would help him later. Now people had freedom to choose their professions and it was rare for the kids to learn parent's professions. It is of course good thing that people has right to choose their job, but I felt it was a kind of pity that kids cannot get skill and even philosophy from parents. My grandfather was tailor and I was playing at his workshop when I was child, and I naturally learned how to use the needle and thread around 4 years old. We were talking about Nano's future, and I do not know what we can or how much we can since we are not wealthy and we do not think we would do some "Early education" things, but I would love to teach what I can teach. Cooking, reading books, sawing, designing, writing and arts. 昨日、「武士の家計簿」を借りてきて観た。江戸時代、侍と一言で言っても、それぞれ家で専門が決まっていて、主人公の家は今で言う経理を代々受け継ぐ家である。家業として、算用ができないと家が傾いてしまう訳で、子供の頃から、厳しく、そろばんと帳簿つけを仕込まれる。子供にしてみれば、不条理なしつけもなされ、子供ながらに疑問を覚えながらも、結局、その技術で、身を立てていくことになる。職業を自由に選べるようになった今、こんな風に小さな 頃から職業的な訓練を親からつけられる事はまれだ。職業選択の自由があるのはもちろん、素晴らしい事なのだけど、でも、そうして小さな頃から、技術とその 哲学を仕込まれる事を、うらやましくも感じた。私の祖父は仕立て屋さんだったが、その作業場で遊んでた私は、4歳ぐらいで針と糸を使って、縫い物らしきも のを自然にさせてもらっていた。そんな風に自然に、ごく小さい頃からいろんな技術を身につけていくのは、い貴重な体験だと思う。私と相方は、たまにナノの将来の話をする。何になるかは、彼女自身が決める事で、その手助けとして、裕福とはいえない私達がどこまでしてあげられるか、わからない。早期教育だの、英語塾 だの、今の時点でするつもりはないが(そんな余裕もないし)、私の教えてあげられる事は、私の娘として産まれた特権?として、教えてあげたい。とはいえ、教えてあげられる事は、とっても偏ってしまってるんだけどね。
I got Nano's first book when she was 1 month old. ナノのはじめての絵本を、1ヶ月になった時に買った。

At first, she was not interested in book at all, but I kept reading to her, then 最初は全然、あっちの方を向いちゃって、興味を持ってなかったけど、しつこく読み続けて、

now she stared when I read. I am very happy. とうとう、読むと、じーっと見てくれるようになりました。やった〜!


What caused husband's failure Nano's bedding イクメン、寝かしつけ失敗のナゾに迫る

This is the story three weeks ago. Husband has one T-shirts he bought at Singapore Zoo night safari when he traveled. He likes this T-shirts and always wore in the night and showed off to me at least 10 times. After this incident, he did not wear this T-shirts. これは、今から3週間前の話です。相方は、昔、旅行先で買った、シンガポール動物園のナイトサファリのTシャツを持っています。それは、暗闇で光る、動物の足跡がついているもので、好んで夜に着ては、「これ、どう?」と10回ぐらい、自慢してきたものでした。でも、この日以来、相方は夜にこのTシャツを着ていません。

After a week leaving of husband, he came back home and we went to bed. Until the bed time, Nano looked happy to play with husband and there seemed to be no problems. 出張から戻ってきた相方は、寝る時間までたっぷりナノと遊び、ナノもご機嫌だったので、今日は大丈夫だろうと、寝ようとすると、、、

But as soon as turning off the light, she became nervous like other times. Did it happen again? I was scared. 電気を消した途端、ナノが不安定になり、ぎゃーぎゃー言い出した。また、ご機嫌の悪い夜がやってきたのかと思って、げんなりした。

I saw his Fluorescence T-shirts shining in the darkness. I thought it could be the reason and told him. He did not think so, but just in case, he tried to wear inside out. よく見ると、暗闇の中で、相方のTシャツが光っている。「ねえ、そのTシャツが原因じゃないの?」と言うと、相方は「違うと思うけどなあ〜」と言いながら、Tシャツを裏返して着直した。

I a minute, Nano fell into peaceful deep sleep. Then we noticed it was reason. Thinking back the time, he wore this T-shirts(animal footprints are shining in the darkness). すると、すぐにナノはおとなしくなり、数分で静かに眠ってしまった。これだったのか!思い返せば、この間失敗した時も、相方はこの「動物の足跡が蛍光で暗闇で光るTシャツ」を着ていた。

Nano must had thought that some wild things were looking at her. 考えてみると、夜行性の猛獣や猛禽が暗闇で獲物を探してるように、見えなくもない。まだ野生に近い、ナノにしてみれば、危険信号だったんだよね。

Two months old and 41 years old 2ヶ月になりました(ついでに41歳になりました)

On August 21, Nanoka got 2 months old. What she likes now is being hold, taking a walk(walking by mom or dad), drinking milk, taking bath and shit exercise. Some of clothing we got for her at the beginning don't fit her any more. Her weight is now 6460g. Susumu got 41 years old on August 20. What he likes is drinking beer and wine, watching DVD(recently SATC. Rare for men), taking care of Nano's dippers, wiping Kae's glasses and eating Tiramisu. It is still strange to be mother for me sometimes. I was sleeping and woke up and surprised at Nanoka next to me. While sleeping, I forgot about having child. I noticed that I could not be suddenly mom after delivery. I am still same myself as Kae before June 21. 2 months is not enough time to make single Kae to be perfect mom. I feel always I am not good mother. But being with Nano and husband becomes daily things day by day. Probably becoming mom is just like that. I am 2 months old mom. 

Nano was sleeping middle-aged woman style in Husband's arms. おばちゃんポーズで眠るナノと不惑の相方。


Weight scaling 体重測定

After finishing breastfeeding at luxury breastfeeding room, I changed dipper at luxury dipper changing bed. 10 beds were next each other and other moms are chatting to change dippers. Their babies look almost same size as Nano though they smiled more and moved smoothly. ゴージャス授乳室で授乳した後、大量の横並びオムツ替えベッドで他のママさん達とオムツ替えをしていると、隣の赤ちゃん達がほぼ同じ大きさなのに気づいた。オムツを替えてる間も、ママにちょっかいを出したりして、表情も豊かで、「おお〜、発達や個性にも差があるんだなあ」と思ってみていた。

There was baby scale at the luxury baby room. There were not so many opportunities to check the baby's right weight and it would be good chance! Other moms started to scale their babies. They said 6500 or so, and I really thought same size they were. I was so happy to see same size babies. このゴージャズベビールームには、なんと体重と身長を測るスペースもある。横にいたママさん達がこぞって赤ちゃんの体重を量りだして、「あー、6500gいった〜」と言ってたので、いよいよ同じぐらいの大きさだなあ、と思って親近感がわいて、

So I also scaled Nano and she was 6370g. I talked to them "How old are your babies?" and they answered, "6 months" and "7 months" ! 自分もナノを測りながら(彼女は6370gです)、「何ヶ月ですか〜?」と声をかけてみると、「6ヶ月です」「うちは7ヶ月です」と返事が返ってきた。え?

They asked me back how old Nano was and I hesitated but answered that she was 2 months old. Yes, they were surprised at her size. I had thought that their babies balance and face expressions were a little different from Nano. I just made sure how really big Nano was. もちろん、「何ヶ月ですか?」と聞き返されて、おそるおそる、「2ヶ月です」と答えた。「え〜、大きいですね〜」と遠慮がちな反応が。どおりで同じサイズだけど、表情や締まり具合が違うと思ったんだよね。やっぱり、ナノは大きかった、、、


Luxury Baby Room 豪華!赤ちゃん休憩室

I did not know where I could do breastfeeding, but I saw the sign of Baby. I followed it and found the room. どこで授乳できるかわからないので、トイレを探して歩いてた所、赤ちゃんのマークのある部屋を発見。

I entered the room and found inside big space with three clean benches. I thought that it was such a luxury breastfeeding space. 試しに入ってみると、こぎれいな部屋にゆったりしたベンチが3つ並んでいた。すりガラスで外に面しているのが気になったけど、これが授乳スペースだと思ったので、

So I seated on a bench and started breastfeeding. The woman next to me told me that was just resting space and men also could enter. She told me there were specialized breastfeeding space back of the space. 急いで座って、おっぱいをあげ始めると、隣にいた女性が遠慮がちに、「あのう、あっちに授乳スペースが別にありますよ。ここはパパさん達も入ってくるエリアですよ。」と教えてくれた。なんと!

I moved to the back and found huge space with lots of  dipper changing beds and lots of private breastfeeding rooms. How luxury! Now I understood why there's so many babies and mommies in this town. さらに奥に入ってみると、右側に大量のオムツかえ台が並び、左側にこれまた大量の授乳室が並んでいた。いったい、どれだけ豪華なんだ。やたら赤ちゃん連れのママが多い街だと思ってたけど、なるほど、赤ちゃんフレンドリーにできてるからだったのねー。


First shopping with Nano はじめての二人きりのおでかけ

Last saturday was my husband's birthday, but I couldn't  prepare anything until Thursday. I asked him what he wanted and he answered, Tiramisu. Oh, well, it would be 10 times more difficult than before Nano's born, but I decided to try. It had been hot for almost a month and we had been stuck in a house, but it was miracle that it suddenly became cooler with rain on Friday. I brought heavy bag containing dippers, cape, all Nano's items, hung Nano on my belly and adventured to the "public transportation and shopping center" world with a baby.

I walked 20 minutes in heavy rain to the station. Nano was fine watching outside. 土砂降りの中、傘をさして、駅まで20分歩く。ナノはご機嫌で外の世界を見ている。

And we took one ride to Tama-plaza. Nano was just quiet. It was good start! 電車に(初めての公共交通機関)一駅乗って、たまプラーザに到着。順調♪

I hadn't gone out for a long time andI got high by atmosphere of the stores. Nano basically dislikes shopping(she especially hates super market) but she kept being quiet for about 10 minutes,,,暑さのあまり、家に閉じ込もっていた夏。ナノは基本的にショッピングが嫌いで(スーパーが特に嫌い)、不穏な空気で黙っていたが、私は久々の街に興奮して、それを無視してプレゼントを物色していた。

She started to cry for milk. She was not difficult baby, but she had just big big crying voice. We were so afraid that somebody called police and they would come to check DV some day. あわや買い物が決まりそうな所で、「おっぱい〜」泣きが始まった。一度泣き出すと、ナノの声は大きいので、周りの注目を一気に集めてしまう。あまりの声の大きさに、いつか、通報されて、横浜警察に取り調べられるんじゃないかと本気で心配になる。

I gave up shopping(at the moment almost buying the staff) and ran to searching for the place where I could feed her milk. Nano kept crying like siren. Don't misunderstand, please, people. I did not pinch her. 買い物を一旦あきらめ、焦って、授乳できる所を探して走り回った。その間も、ナノはサイレンのように泣き続けるのだった(つづく)


My Mama told me 母の言葉

Nano loves being held in the arms. Actually she only sleep when she is held. Once she fell into sleep,, ナノは抱っこで寝るのが好きだ(どこの赤ちゃんもかな)。最近は、抱っこじゃないと寝ない。ようやく、寝てくれたので、

I tried to lay her down on Futon hoping that I could have free time to do housework and my own work. たまった家事やら、自分の用事がようやくできると思って、布団に置くのだが、、、

But as soon as she is laid down, she burst to cry. How did she notice in a second? 置いた瞬間に泣き叫んで起きる。

This is what I was afraid. I heard this "my baby only sleep in the arms" hardship stories from many tired moms. I do not want to think that Nano is going to do for next 10 months... これは、私がおそれていた、「抱っこしてないと、寝ないのよ」という一日中抱っこしなきゃいけない赤ちゃんのパターンなのだが、まさか、ナノがその一人だと思いたくない。今だけだよねえ?(ひざに乗せて、ブログは書いてます)

Although it is fun to have a baby in family, at the same time, it is very exhausting thing. One day in the first month at my parent's house, Nano cried every 5 minutes and I was at lost to let her stop crying. My mom came over and massaged her body patiently, then she fell asleep calm. Many people said it, and I feel fed up with hearing from my mom, "you never know real thanks to parents until having children." I now felt deep thanks to my parents who did all the works for me to bring up. My mom also said, "the baby gives you so much joy for the first 5 years, so the hardship through the bringing up children after that is your return." Well, I feel hardship even now, and more hardship after 5 years? The point here is this time of life is so precious that I should enjoy.  It is joyful hardship and then people are glad to take it, the words bring from moms to daughters, then family tree is growing.


baby's dream 夢見るナノ

When we were still in the clinic, I heard the strange sound. I saw Nano and found her laughing. She was 5 days old and I could not believe it. After that, she laughed sometimes but it was always while sleeping and seemed that she was dreaming. 生まれたての赤ちゃんは、目も見えてないし、まだ表情もあまりない。しかし、まだ入院していた出産5日目ぐらいのある日、ナノが声を立てて笑っているのに気がついた。「ケケケケ」みたいな、愉快そうな声である。びっくりしてのぞくと、寝ていた。夢を見てるようだった。

It was not only laugh, but she cried sometimes. She suddenly cried aloud and when I came to see, I found it was just a moment and went back to sleep again. その後には、寝ている時に、苦悶の表情を浮かべ、泣き出す事もあった。泣くので、起きたと思って近づくと、何もなかったように寝ている。悪い夢を見てるようだが、、、?

But what was she dreaming? She had such a small experience. What she felt happy was only "breast feeding" at that time and what she felt fear was delivery? Are they what she's dreaming? 「いったいなんの夢を見てるんだろうねー」、と相方と話をしていたが、これほど経験の少ない人が、いったいどれだけの夢の引き出しがあるのだろう?と不思議でしょうがない。おっぱいの夢とか、あとは出産の時の辛かった思いとかなのだろうか?

Now she made smile even awake. First one I found was when she made wind. Well,,,she will add more experience and I hope for her to find more fun things soon. 最近、とうとう、起きてる時にも、表情が豊かになって来て、にっこり笑うようにもなった。私が最初に見た、ナノの感情の伴った笑顔は、「おならをした」会心の笑みでした。きもちよかったのね。


Baby in the hot weather 暑いですねえ

It was just sooooo hot for a few days. Even in the house, it was over 30℃ and hard to work there. The baby is weak at heat and Nano becomes in bad mood if she feels hot. 暑い。とにかく暑い。部屋の中も30度を超えるので、何をするのもしんどい。特に、赤ちゃんは暑さに弱いので、すぐ機嫌が悪くなる。

So Nano and I were stuck inside one room with air conditioner all day long. Nano was soon bored. I tried to play with her, but she is still small and it is difficult to do for a long time. I wanted to do some work and tried to lay her down to the bed, but she cried in 5mins. I was tired of being only with her inside one room just holding her. Also I was scared that she didn't use enough energy daytime and awake in the night. ということで、ナノと私は一日中、クーラーのある部屋に閉じこもっている。なんとか遊んで刺激を与えようとするのだけど、一日中はムリである。すぐにナノは退屈し始める。用事を済ませたくて、布団においてみるのだが、すぐに泣き出す。本当に抱っこしたまま、何もできない。そして、このままでは夜も疲れてなくて、寝てくれないのでは、と不安にもなる。

So I went to outside after sunset. It was still hot, but heat from ground was softer and there were some wind. Nano was looking at outside feeling something. She soon slept but still this made her sleepy in the night. Well, I had to climb hill with hot baby on my belly holding some shopping bags. I sweated a lot... 夕方日が落ちてから、意を決して外出する。暑いけれど、日が照ってない分マシだし、風が少しある。ナノは外の空気を感じて、しばらくおとなしく見ていて、最後は寝てしまう。こんな感じでも、外出しておくと、夜、よく寝てくれるのだ。私は、ポカポカのナノを腹にまいて、買い物袋を抱えて、坂を登ると汗だくだけど。

But Nano usually had peaceful nap after walk and I had finally free hands. To let baby sleep in the night, moms have many trials. そして、外出後、ナノはたいがい、気持ちよく眠っているので、その隙に、用事をささっと済ませられる。どこのお母さんも、必死で子供を寝かす算段をしてるけど、ホント、わかるなあ〜


Milk ingridient なんか入ってる?

When Nano became very difficult to handle, people delivered her to me. Now she cried aloud, punched and kicked people who hold. ナノが手がつけられなくなると、私の所に運ばれてくる。ぎゃん泣きして、手足をバタバタして、大変な状態になっている。

So I did breast feeding as the last solution. She became quiet since her mouth was full with nipple. 黙らせるために、とりあえずおっぱいをあげる。なににせよ、口が塞がるので、静かになる。

After finish drinking, she had completely changed. She was still and quiet, watching nowhere. she looked like being at trans. then she slept in a few minutes peacefully.  it is like magic. well,,,does milk contain something? 一服すると、ナノは豹変する。ぐったりとおとなしくなり、どこを見てるのか、ボー然としている。そして、あれほど手こずっていたのに、数分後には眠ってしまうのだ。まるで、マジック。おっぱいにはなにか含まれてるに違いない!

Nano knows the effect of milk, so she wants to drink when she is sleepy, or just bored, even though she is not hungry. Is it Milkholic? What does milk contain? ナノ自身も、その効果を知ってるので、眠いのに眠れなかったり、手持ち無沙汰になると、お腹はすいてなくても、おっぱいを欲しがる。おっぱい中毒、といった感じだ。いったい、おっぱいには何が入ってるんだ?


milk woman おっぱいの人

The new born baby cannot see well and rarely recognises people. But Nano seemed to recognise only me from the beginning. Was it so special being mother? Actually no. She reacted to the smell of the milk and she thought "this is the person with milk" or even "this is walking milk tank" rather than "this is mom" 生まれたての赤ちゃんと言うのは、ほとんど目が見えてない。それでも、ナノは私を最初から認識して、私といると安心してるように見えた。「ママと言うのは、特別な存在なのか」と感動したが、すぐにそれが、「おっぱいのにおい」のせいで、ママと認識してるのではなく、「おっぱいの人」と思っているのだとわかった。もしかすると、「おっぱい」そのものが歩いてると思ってるかもしれないぐらいだ。

Milk woman is hard job, actually. Even she was crying for other reasons, 「おっぱいの人」は大変である。他の理由でナノがぐずっても、

Once I hold her up, she smells milk and remembers the existence of it. Then all she can think after that is milk. 私が抱っこした途端に、「あ、おっぱい」と思い出し、そこから先、彼女の考えはすべて「そう、私が欲しかったのは、おっぱい」となり、

So it is harder for me to hold her sometimes than others do. Also all my family started to call me, "milk." That is not happy nickname. 泣き続ける事になるのだ。他の人が抱っこした方が泣かない事も多い。さらに、家族が「お、おっぱいが来たぞ」「パイパイの所に行きなさい」と、私の事を、「おっぱい」と呼ぶようになったのも、若干不本意である。

Anyway, since my husband always takes care of her dippers and tried to give her "smooth defecation exercise" she would think that he is "shit man" ちなみに、旦那はナノのうんちの世話を使命だと思っており、むずがるナノに、マメに「うんち体操」をしてあげている。この分だと、ナノに「あ、うんちの人だ」と思ってもらえると思う。


Alsok アルソック

One day I saw Nano sleeping deeply and I thought it was cute. I took picture and attach to the mail to husband. He said, "Well, she looks like wrestler..." And he started to worry about her weight after that. ある日、ナノが脱力して寝てる姿がかわいかったので、写真を撮って相方に送った。すると、「レスラーみたいなんだけど、、、」と返信して来て、それ以降、ナノの体重について心配し始めた。

My father also thought that her legs and arms were strong and talked to her, "you want to be Alsok?" うちの父親は、ナノの立派な腕と足を見て、「アルソックだな」とコメント。

Alsok means Saori Yoshida, who was the Olympic Gold medalist of women wrestling. She was now acting in the commercial of Alsok, the security service company. アルソックというのは、宣伝に出てくる、吉田沙保里選手の事を言ってるんだけど、、、

This is the photo that made husband worry,,,Is she? これが問題の写真です。撮った向きが悪かったのだろうか?

I like Saori Yoshida, since she was such a strong good woman, but I do not want Nano goes to this direction. Since she was my daughter, I do not think she would be good at sports things. Also I am so sissy that I even cannot see battle of other's game. If daughter's game? I will lose myself,,, 吉田沙保里選手は、男前で、強くって、さっぱりしてて、大好きだけど(こんなCMも、快く引き受けちゃってる所が、好感)ナノは、私の娘で、どう考えてもスポーツが得意になると思えないので、こっちの方角に行くのはなあ、、、ちなみに、私は恐がりで、赤の他人でも、格闘技とか直視できません。実の娘が試合に出たら、卒倒しちゃうよ。


Mom, You don't understand me! ママはわかってない!

I have been alone taking care of Nano this week. I did better than I expected. We had good sleep together and went for a short walk and I ate OK. Of course it was busy, tiring days, I felt I could get the way to do with her OK. Then I treated her like easy way. I left her even she was crying half way when I need to do some work. If I do too much, she would not accept. 今週、ナノと二人っきりで過ごしてみて、ちょっと自信がついた。忙しくてバタバタしてはいたが、なんとか眠れるし、ご飯も作って食べられたし、なんとかなってるではないか。そして、ちょっと調子に乗って、半分泣いてるナノを、「よーしよし、もうすぐ行くよ〜」「ママ、いるよ〜」とごまかしながら、自分の用事をせっせと済ませるようになっていた。目が見えて、かなり事情がわかって来たナノは、結構、それで、理解してくれてるように思えた。が、やっぱり、やり過ぎはダメみたいです。
Nano has been half crying since morning. I just talked to her at the same time doing my business. I was hanging laundry because I had to finish anyway. 今朝は朝からナノは、ぐずぐず。洗濯物を干していると、半分泣きながら、何かを訴えかけていたが、「ママ、干してるよー、もうすぐねー」とごまかし続け

Still she was in bad mood, but I kept doing my business and walked away to hang the staff in another room. Nano saw that and,,, まだ機嫌の悪いナノをおいて、隣の部屋に洗濯物を干しに行ったら、、

finally burst to cry,,,and never stop crying even I hold her, tried to give her milk or sing a song. She was so angry that she could not try anything. I was at lost. とうとう、ものすごい勢いで、ぎゃん泣きし始めた。あわてて、抱き上げて、声をかけて、乳をあげようとしたり、ゆらしたり、歌ったりしたが、どれも受け付けず、泣き続けた。もはや、自分でも何がしたかったのか、わからなくなってるナノ。まずいことになった、、、

At the end, she fell asleep in my arms after some crying. I understood that she wanted to sleep and needed help for that. Sorry. Mommy didn't understand you,,,最終的には、しがみついたまま、眠りこけてました。眠くって、眠らせて欲しかったのね。全然、わかってなかったね。ごめんよ。