Best dresser ベストドレッサー?

After she got 1 year old, I let her choose her clothing to wear every day. She picked up whatever her hands touched, 1歳ぐらいから、ナノカに服を選ばせている。といっても、ナノカは目の前にあるもので、手の側にあるのを、適当につまんで「こえ」と言うので、
So I led her what to choose in facet, thinking of combination of clothings.上を選んだ後は、組み合わせを考えてこちらが下の服を用意して、「これ?」というと「こえ!」と、さも自分で選んだかのように、簡単に誘導されていた。
Recently she chooses really by herself. One day she chose summer dress in a cool day, so I tried to stop her, but she never changed(she wanted to tie the ribbons on her back at that time)しかし、最近、すっかり意志が強くなった。夏の背中が開いたドレスを選んだので(後ろでリボンを結ぶのがブームなのだ)「ナノちゃん、それ寒いよ」と言っても、「こえー」と言って譲らないので、
So I asked her to wear something underneath. She chose bear T-shirts and stripe trouthers which were under fancy dress. I was not happy about it, but what can I do that?仕方なく、寒さ対策だけしようと、下にTシャツとズボンを着せる事にした。それも選ばせたら、すごい組み合わせになって、こっちはげんなり。
Around when Nano became 1 year old, I got to let Nano to choose her clothing every day. I do not know why I started it, but I guess it was just easy way to eocourage her changing clothing if she was a part of action. At first, she was just picking whatever her hand touched, and it was just celemonical action and I lead her what to pick up by putting clothing under her hand. Gradually she grew up and her will got stronger. Then now she has some favorite or mood what to wear on that time. She totally ignore the weather and she even chose two trouthers or two sockes. Once she chose something,  it is really hard to change her mind. I was thinking of respecting her will and lead her to achieve abilities to choose anything-clothing first, but life choice such as major and partners. It might be too beyond, but I just want her to be free and responsible girl to . But it is too much trouble every day about clothing, I now feel I should not make this custom this early...


Nursery School 保育園に行ってみました

Nanoka was invited to play at playground of the school. An elder girl came to hug her. 保育園で、園庭での遊びに混ぜてもらったら、年上の女の子が「抱っこ」したがって、まとわりつき、
Nanoka was scared of girl's passion to "take care of baby" and cried. ナノカはその迫力に押されて、私にしがみついて、離れなくなった。
In a while, Nanoka got used to the atmosphere and watched girls doing iron bar. They were very wild like monkeys.しばらくすると、ようやく慣れて、遊んでいる子供達を観察しはじめた。鉄棒には、たくましい女の子達が、逆上がりをしたり、サルみたいにぶら下がったりしていて、
It gave her big motivation, maybe. She walked to the iron bar and held it with hands tight. The bar was high for her, but she kept still grasping for a while. Wow, kids got stimulus each other in a group.それを見たナノカは、モチベーションが上がったのか、ずんずん鉄棒に行くと、背の届くギリギリのバーにしがみついて、握っていた。やっぱり、子供同士の刺激はすごいなあ。
We went to one of the nursery school to look. It was special system based on Montesolli and different age group kids are helping each other. Kids especially girls have enormous passion to take care of babies and it was a little too much even to Nanoka, who usually loves to play with different age kids. 保育園の見学に行った。違った年齢の子を一緒のクラスで見る、「縦割り保育」を実践している保育園で、上のお兄ちゃん、お姉ちゃん達が、下の子供達の面倒を見ていた。しかし、お姉ちゃん達の「赤ちゃんの面倒をみたい」熱は、かなり強烈だったようで、ナノカはビビってしまった。しばらくすると、雰囲気にも慣れ、みんなのマネをして、滑り台にも自分で登り、鉄棒にもぶら下がって(つかまる?)いた。なかなか、刺激的だったようだ。


38 years old 38歳になりました

去年のナノカと私。Me and Nanoka last birthday
今年のナノカと私。Me and Nanoka this year birthday
育ちました。She's grown up.
I got 38 years old. Looking back last year birthday, I went to shrine with Nanoka as our first going out after delivery. She was a little baby who even could not change her position by herself at that time, but now she can open the door to go out, pull the chest to pick up clothing and does all tricks to make me in trouble. I spent one year just following her development. My life has drastically changed, but how about myself? I had no time to think over and left all the thoughts in collapse. It was like our room, Nanoka made mess and she made another mess before my cleaning then room was left in mess all the time.
I am sometimes afraid of that I will find myself old lady doing nothing when Nano leaves us. My mom said that I should keep working even with baby since it is easy to stop it since raising child is such a busy days. At the same time, another person advised me to look at Nano carefully since it is such a precious time for both me and Nanoka even for my inspirations and career. Probably all the idea is right. It is mom's choice and we have to just make it right answer by believing and completing.
However I am even not sure if I made choices. The time passed like a storm and I had never live without thinking like this. At Sasebo mommies are younger-almost everybody became mom at 20s. I saw my age new moms around Tokyo area, but here I am the oldest and I saw early 20 moms take good care of their children. I feel amazed that they can give up most of their desire or time and spent whole energy and time to their kids. I had spent so much time to myself until now and it made my career and myself, and I thank to lucky about it. Maybe now it is time to give my energy and time to the next generation.
Still I went to look at the nursery school for Nanoka. I felt like the time is coming I will go back to work gradually even for Nanoka's future. I was so happy to be with her till now seeing her growing and deeply miss our departure, but it is also important to believe and rely on the local society to raise the child together. I want to be a part of that and I want Nanoka to be in that. It is not only about job.
I would love to finish my baby book, find the media I can write and draw the illustration essay about raising Nanoka days, can do art workshop for kids somewhere, making some products, etc. Also we are planning to go to NYC next June. We want to make local friends and I should take driving lessons and buy the car, etc,,,it is going to be busy year, again!
と言いつつ、先日、保育園の見学に行ってきた。しっかりしてきたナノカが、十分、世界を拡げ、健康に育つためにも、私もそろそろ混乱した頭を整理して、少しずつ行動する時が近づいていると思ったからだ。 今まで一緒にいられた事、そして、これから、少しずつ地域や社会と一緒に子供を育てていく事、私達には、ちょうどよい選択なのではないかと思う。


1 year and 3 months 1歳3ヶ月になりました

Nanoka became 1 and 3 months old. I see her all the time every day, so it is difficult to notice how much she is growing, but even I can see her gaining so much abilities day by day. However it is not always making my life easier. She knows better way to tell me her desire and it is harder to ignore, so I need extra time to prepare going out-she has her own mood what to wear, what to bring and when to go. It is opposite to my idea in many cases and I chase her all the time in a panic and exhausted at the end of day. I have no time to think. Everything is flying by without thinking. I am at lost between ideal and reality of motherhood. I spent more than 35 years as a human being and have some experiences of job or so, but I am so new to be mother and it is natural not to be expert of that. I am still very beginner of mother and under training by Nanoka.
Recently Nanoka developed her emotion. She is interested in animals and wants to tender. She holds staffed animals even at the dinner and gets it dirty. She is shy to the people in the elevator. The complex emotion make her difficult. I am exhausted at the end of day and became harsh to her. I appologised her when I saw her sleeping like an angel, "sorry. I am still underdeveloped mommy." Can I be a bit better after this repeating days?


To wear from down 下から

In addition to bra, Nano wore my underwear from her top and hung at her shoulders. She wore several underwear at the same time. It looked a little weird,,,ナノが私のブラに加え、パンツも着るようになった。とにかく、なんでも上からかぶるので、パンツとブラの重ね着とかをして、ウロウロしている。やや、変態っぽい。
One day, Nano was doing something with my pants. I found her ある日、私の短パンを持って、ナノカが何かをしているので、見てみると、
trying to wear it from down. I was 一生懸命、はこうとしていた。とうとう、「下からはく」事に目覚めた!(しかし、やっぱり私の服か、、、)
Nano is a lover of the clothing. She especially likes my bra as I told before. Recently she liked underwear and she pulled them from laundry and wore from top and hung at shoulders. Why mine? underwear? Anyway, mothers are minding babies development, why my baby don't eat much? Why she does not walk, yet or why she still wear dippers etc. Babies did not grow as books said or as mothers expect. But on the other side, Kid grow by themselves, too. Suddenly moms found them opening the bottle and made big mess on the floor. Suddenly kids use scissors, etc. I did not teach her hand by hand, but Nano gained so many abilities by herself. It is amazing.母は、常に子供の事を考えていて、やれ「うちの子は、まだ歩かない」「離乳食が進まない」「オムツが取れない」と、時期通りのマニュアルや、思った通りにはならない事に、日々、心をくだいている。しかしながら一方で、子供は勝手に成長して、できる事が劇的に増えていく部分も多い。はっと気付くと、教えてもいないのに、ペットボトルのフタをねじって開けていたり、新品の化粧品を開けていたり、、、だいたいは、親を観察して、勝手に覚えているようだ。それで起きるトラブルも多いので、てんやわんやの日々にひいこら言ってばかりだが、冷静に考えると、ほんの数日で、できる事がどんどん増えている事に、感動すら覚える。


Art is a bomb! 芸術は爆発だ〜

At first I gave her white bag and some parts of cutting paper, but she prefer watching my doing, so I finished it. She really liked the bag. 最初、カバン好きのナノカのために、オリジナルを作らせてあげようと思い、カットした色紙のパーツをいろいろ与えたんだけど、私が仮に乗せた顔が気に入ったようなので、そのまま張り付けた。
 Then I cut the worn out shirts of husband's and let her draw on it. It was exciting for her! 相方のいらなくなったシャツに絵を描かせると、これは、大興奮。
At the end, I made dress from that. It was more realistic than paper one, and she loved it. 最後にドレスに仕上げてみた。紙で作った時より、スムーズで動きやすく、リアルな感じに、ナノも大喜び(自分の写った写真を見ている)
It was actually good dress and I want one for myself!実際、素敵な柄に仕上がって、私も欲しいぐらい!
Typhoon hit Nagasaki since last night and we were rocked in our aprtment from this morning. To do art is good thing in such a storm day. I let her seated on the chair and showed cutting the colur papers. It might be too difficult for her to paste onto the back by herself. She just liked watching making bag from biginning to the end and happy to hold my original bag. I tried to think eaier way for her to do art and at the end I can make something usable. I saved some worn out clothing of husband's to clean up and I cut them for her draw. The clothing is flexible than paper after that. I made temporary dress with string and crip and she was very excited to wear. 台風16号が昨夜から長崎を通過しており、山の上のマンションは暴風にさらされ、窓がバンバン言っている。とても出かけられる感じではないので、家の中でも退屈しないよう、「今日はアートの日」として、ナノカに新しいアートで遊ばせてやる事にした。最初、カバン好きのナノカに、自分で袋を作らせてやろうと、紙袋を白い紙でカバーしたものを与え、カットした色紙をいろいろ渡したが、すかさず袋に詰め込んでいくので、「こんな感じよ」と私が適当に紙袋に乗せてやると、「おおー」と喜んでいたので、そのまま貼ってやった。まだ、紙を貼る、はちょっと難しいみたいだ。でも、何か、作った後で、応用できるもので、自分の作ったことを体感させてあげたかったので、相方の古くなったシャツを切り裂いて、絵を描かせた。布はぺんがにじんで、おもしろい効果がでて、描くのもおもしろかったようだ。紙とは違った素材なので、出来上がった後、いろいろなものに応用できる。とりあえず、着るのが一番、好きなので、ひもをつけて、簡単なドレスにしてやると、大喜び。というか、このまま私も着てもオシャレなぐらい、かわいいドレスになった。子供は、「こうしてやろう」という意図を全くもたないで、大胆に絵を描けるから、仕上がりも、勢いがあって、偶然の美しさがある。私には、描けないものが、ナノカには描けるんだなあ、と感心してしまう。


Breast Alians おっぱい星人

When Nano was very small, she could not see well and could not find the nipples, so searching for it in air wiht her mouth. It was really lovely. ナノがまだ目も開かない新生児だった頃、おっぱいをあげようとすると、乳首が見つけられず、空でぱくぱく探していて、それは、かわいらしかった。
Now she can of course know where the nipple is and she came to me to open dress to have one even in public. It is troublesome,,,しかし、今や、しっかりおっぱいの所在はわかっており、飲みたくなると、公衆の面前だろうがなんだろうが、勝手に服を開けて、飲み始める。
And after she became 1 year old, she started to pinch the other side of nipple when she was drinking. I was trying to stop her, but never stop it. It became her hobby now. さらに言うなら、1歳を越えた辺りから、飲んでいない方のおっぱいをつまむようになった。痛いし、恥ずかしいし、ともするとおっぱいが出てきてしまうので、辞めさせようとするのだが、絶対辞めない。もう、趣味というか、安定剤というか、とにかく、おっぱいに関する事は、いろいろこだわりがあるらしい。
Then I found other babies around the same age doing exact same thing. Mothers look tired and sighed, but gave up stopping and just letting them doing that. All the babies are breast alians.ふと他の人を見ると、同じ月齢の子供は、やっぱり、飲んでない方のおっぱいに手を突っ込んで、キープしたり、つまんだりしている。お母さん達も、あきらめ顔でため息をつきながら、させている。みんな、おっぱい星人なんだねえ。


Jackson Pollock? ジャクソンポロック?

At the children's playground, Nano was attacking crayon box which elder kids enjoyed colouring. I thought she wanted to draw, and gave her papre and let her hold crayon, but 遊び場に行くと、大きいお姉ちゃん達がクレヨンでぬりえをしている。ナノカも、そこへ飛び込んでいって、邪魔をするので、「クレヨンで遊びたいのかな?」と思い、紙を渡して、描かせようとするが、
She was interested in collecting more crayons and at the end she put them into mouth. She prefered my pen or pencil to draw and did not recognise crayons as drawing tools.1本線を引くと、すぐにクレヨンを両手いっぱいに集め(ひんしゅく)、そして、最後には口に含んだりする。ペンに比べると、扱いにくいようで、物を描く道具として認識できないようだ。
But my pen is not fun since it is all black and thin line. I bought rolled papre and watercolour pen and colour paper and cut them to paste on paper to call her interests. とはいえ、いつまでも私の仕事道具の黒いペンだけでは、つまんないだろう、とロール紙と水彩のサインペンと色紙を買ってきた。まずは、色を選ばせて、単純な形に紙を切って、紙に貼っていく。だだっぴろいブランクの紙を目の前にしても、なかなか、子供だって、最初からモチベーションいっぱいともいかないだろうから、少し、お手伝い、する。
At the end, I made easy dress and let her wear. She loved it after that and found it fun. そして、最後はその紙を服に仕立ててやった。それで記念撮影をして、見せた所、俄然、やる気を出たのか、次から、積極的に参加するようになった。
Cutted paper done by me. It gave her inspiration to start. I guess kids need help to start. こんな感じ
Soon she want to paste papre by herself. のりも奪って制作中。
Pose in a dress. 記念撮影
Hung the drawing on the wall. Jackson Pollock? 2日目の絵は、壁に飾った。ジャクソンポロック?
People tend to think that crayon is the first art supply for kids. Actually, crayon is a little difficult to handle for the little kids. The hands get dirty and kids hands pressure is not strong enough for making good lines. Nanoka did not recognise crayon as a tool to draw since she watched my drawing with pen, pencil. She hold drawing tools like pencil. Crayon might be too short for her. I felt that I should give her comfortable tool to draw and bought cheap waterbase colour pen and roller paper. She looked hesitated to the large blank paper at the beginning, so I support her with cut out colour paper. Pen make only dots and line, so cutted paper makes shaps. Soon she started to work more freely. Fun to watch kids making arts. 子供の最初の絵の道具=クレヨン、と思いがちだが、クレヨンは意外に、使いにくい道具である。子供によっては、神経質で手が汚れるのがイヤな子もいるし、結構、筆圧が必要で、思った通りのラインが出て来ない。特に、ナノカは、私がペンや色鉛筆、鉛筆類を握っているのを、よく見ているせいなのか、筆記道具の持ち方が、鉛筆持ち、である。クレヨンは彼女にとって「みじかい」と感じているのかもしれない。いくら促しても、一向に描こうとしない。大人が、使いやすい道具で、好きなように描いていいように、子供だって、本人の使いやすいものを選ばせてあげた方がいいだろう。そう思って、安物ではあるが、サインペンやら、ロール紙やらを、買ってきて与えてみた。道具がそろったとはいえ、「はい」と渡しただけでは、大きなブランクの紙に、戸惑っているようだったので、少し、手伝ってみた。ペンは「点」「線」をつけるのには、最適の道具だが、「面」を塗るには、不向きだ。そこで、色紙で形を張り、「面」を補助してやる。子供が熱中してる姿は、見ていて、楽しい。


Nanoka Alarm なのかアラーム

From Monday, husband went to China on business. Nano and I were both sick after weekend art market and it was so hard to entertain her at home alone and I went out with her even I am still sick,,, mom is tough! 月曜日から相方は中国出張に行っている。週末のイベントで大活躍してもらった後、そのまま旅立ったので、さぞかし、大変だったろう。こちらも、最初はナノカが、その風邪が私にうつり、ダウン。それでも、ナノカはパワフルで、病体に鞭打ち、相手をする日々です、、、
On weekdays, husband leaves home before 7am, so we woke up at 6am and I have to make breakfast and lunch box for him. We tried to be quiet not to wake up Nano, but she surely wakes up and walks around to catch our attention. Every morning is war to me,,,平日、相方が6時45分頃に家を出るので、私も6時起きで、朝ご飯とお弁当を作る。起きなくてもいいのに、ナノカも起きてきて、あれこれ参加してくる。毎朝、戦争だ。

On weekend, we of course want to have extra rest in the morning, but Nanoka wakes up around 6am and starts play. She tries to play with me or husband, and soon we give up the bed and woke up. We called it "Nanoka alarm" 週末ぐらいはゆっくり寝ていたい。その願いも虚しく、ナノカは染み付いたその6時起きの習慣を崩さない。ということで、起き上がると、遊び始める。もちろん、一人では遊べないので、相方か私の所へ来る。しばらく、なんとか寝続けようとするが、あきらめて、起きるのだ。週末でも、6時半には起こされている。

Last Monday Nano got active but still husband's alarm did not ring and he was sleeping after weekend's event, I looked at clock アートマーケットの終わった次の日の月曜日、相方の携帯アラームが鳴らないのに、もうナノカがウロウロしているなあ、と思いながら、ふと時計を見ると

and found it was already 6:25am. Husband had to go to China from this day but he forgot to set the alarm of his cellphone as usual (probably tired by weekend event). Thanks to Nanoka alarm, he could make it.6時25分だった。どうやら、昨日の夜、疲れ過ぎて、アラームのセットを忘れて寝てしまったようだ。あぶなかった、、、いつもは「ちぇっ」と思う、なのかアラームに助けられた。


Mom, I can draw! やられた、、、

When I was preparing for the event, I had always sought for the time. Even though I decided not to draw new works for the event, still I needed to pull the box from storage and choose the works from there and frame them. But Nano was the last person who watches quietly my doing that. I was frustrated to think about the time and work. イベント前、平日の日中はナノと二人きりなので、一日中「こえ」とへばりついてきて、「あれもやらなきゃ、これもやらなきゃ」と気になっても、全く、手をつけられない状態だった。
On weekend, husband was at home and Nano ran to him. Great! Finally I had time to work!週末、相方にナノがくっついていたのを見て、「やった、これで準備できる!」と大慌てで作品や額縁を引っ張りだし、

I put all the works and frames on the table and worked on them. Once I started, I devoted on the drawing in front of me. I fixed them and signed them and frame them,,,テーブルに積んで、片っ端から、作業を始めた。作業をし始めると、目の前のものに没頭して、全く、他の事に気がいかなくなっていたようで、、、
Then I noticed Nano was doing something on the floor. Looking at it and found it was one of original drawing and she drew the strokes on it. I screamed but gave up in a next moment. Well she pulled the drawing from the package on the table and my pen from my bag and took off the top to draw. It was progress, so I should appreciate it,,,ふと床にナノカがいるのに気付いて、見てみると、私の原画を引っ張りだして、その上に、ペンで落書きをしていた。他にいろいろ紙もあるし、鉛筆とかもあるのに、なぜ、テーブルの上の袋に入った原画を引っ張りだし、わざわざ袋の中から、ペンを取り出して、フタまで取って、描いたのか、、、青ざめて、叫んだけど、しかる訳にもいかず、、、まあ、自分でペンを開けて、ペンで描けたって、成長だから、喜ばしいよね、と自分に言い聞かせて、あきらめるしかなかった。
She had done,,,やられた、、、
I thought that Nano might be interested in drawing and let her hold crayon and paper. But she did not draw with it, but bite it. She's rather interested in pen I am drawing with. She eager to use it and I let her draw on my sketchbook with it. Actually she just did some stroke and dots and gave up soon. So I was very shocked when she drew onto my original art. Why with pen, why much lines this time? Recently she was imitating everything I was doing. She must have watched my devoting on fixing and working on my originals and thought she wanted to do. Anyway, I found that top of the table is not safe anymore and she can take off the top of the pen. I just need to be careful about my staff.そろそろナノカも、お絵描きもしたいだろうと、紙とクレヨンを渡してみるが、あまり食いつかず、むしろ、まさに口に入れて、食いついてしまうので、「まだ、あんまり興味ないのかな?」と感じていた。でも、一方で、私がペンを持って、何かを描いていると、それを欲しがって、大騒ぎになる。親が大事に使っている道具の方が、「本物」ぽいのだろうか。しかたなく、ペンを渡し、スケッチブックの裏のページに落書きもさせてやったりしてきた。しかし、それもすぐに飽きるので、ひょろひょろした線と点々が少し、紙に残る程度である。なので、原画にかなり派手に落書きされた時、「なぜ、よりによって、これに、こんなにも、、」と思ったが、考えてみれば、ナノカは、私のやる事を、なんでもマネをしているようで、私が必死こいて、原画に手を入れてるのを見て、俄然、やる気がわいたのだろう。なににせよ、テーブルも手が届くし、ペンのふたも開けれるのがわかったので、大切なものの扱いには、気をつけよう、ということだ。


Husbands of Artists wives アーティストの旦那

I decided to participate to THE ART 2012 at Sasebo just on the deadline day. I only had two weeks to prepare and Nano was following me all over for all day long, then I felt it impossible. How could I use sawing machine or iron when curios Nano was awake. I worked only when she was sleeping and at the end, I finished some work anyway. 約2週間前に勢いで参加を決めた「アートマーケット佐世保」。ナノがへばりついた状態で、画材も、アイロンもミシンも使えるはずもなく、準備はもちろん進まず、、、いったいどうなることやら、と思ったが、なんとか、形になる所まで持って行った。
On the day of the event, husband setted the alarm at 5:30am and woke up. It was heavily raining and I lost motivation since I was already tired from lack of sleep. 当日は朝から雨。寝不足と低血圧で調子のでない私を尻目に、相方は5時半に目覚ましを鳴らし、朝から、バリバリ荷物をそろえ、準備にいそしむ。
We reached Shimanose Park where the event was held. Husband told me to keep Nano still and worked hard to set up my tent. He brought desks and built the handmade shelf for books and so on. I was amazed how comparative he was! 会場に着くと、相方は、「カエちゃんは、ナノをちゃんと見てて」と言うと、せっせと荷物を運び入れ、机を運んできては、手作りの「絵本陳列棚」を設置、絵本を並べ、ブースの設営をテキパキとこなした。なんて、使える旦那だろう。
At 10am the event started. My husband took care of Nano. He wore my original T-shirts as a sample. Without him, I do not know how to manage to work. Soon I noticed several other men holding same size babies as Nano. They are daddies of the other mom artists. For the women artists, the most important factor to keep working as artists is corporate of the partners. イベントが始まると、ナノを連れ出し、つきっきりで見てくれた。相方の協力なしには、本当、なんもできなかったなあ、と感謝するばかりだ。ふと見ると、同じぐらいの子供を連れたパパさん達が、会場中にウロウロ。みんな、ママさんアーティストに付き添ってる旦那で、しみじみ、「ママアーティストに必要なのは、協力的なパートナー。みんなうまいこと、見つけてるなあ。」と感心した。
Sorry for not writing here for a while. I was just busy preparing for the event with active Nano. It was almost nightmare and I almost gave up several times. However, once I joined the event and I talked with people, I felt so refreshed. It reminded me the life when I was in NY. I was a just poor little art student and dreaming of getting chance. I was ambitious and dreamy seeking for the place to show my voice. Then I thought about present figure of mine. What should I do as an artist now? What is the meaning of mother and artist? It is very good chance to motivate myself. I want to start again! 土日、アートマーケットに参加してきた。連日の大雨で、散々だったが、楽しかった!なにより、久々に街に出て、人と交流して、絵を見てもらって、、、もちろん、原画を売るにはあまりに気軽なブースで、主に売れたのはポストカードと絵本だったが、昔、ニューヨークで路上で友達と絵を並べて売った時の事とかを思い出して、懐かしい気持ちになった。昔は、貧しくて、手がかりもなく、ただただ、夢だけ大きくて、その路上で絵を売ってる事自体も「楽しい」とは思ってなかったのだけど、今回はなにかその原点を思い出させられ、ただ楽しく感じた。当たり前の事だけど、アーティストにとって一番大切で忘れてはいけない事は、有名になる事でもなく、それで儲ける事でもなく(もちろん、私達も生活しなきゃいけないから、普通に経済活動をしていくのだけど)、「何を思い、何を表現し、伝えていくか」という「自分の声」で、だからこそ、常に人の中にあり、今を表現していかなきゃいけないなあ、と感じた。それが、売れるのか、受け入れられるのか、は別問題で、私達は、どこかで挑戦者であり続けなきゃいけないんだろうなあ、と。今は、母として、生活も変わり、時間も限られるようになったけれど、またこの立ち位置から、見える世界を表現していけたらなあ、と思う。