2013年8月5日

Fear and Experience 恐怖と経験

先日、独立記念日に米軍基地で花火があがった時、ナノカは、ガッチガチに固まって、どんなに「見た方が、こわくないから、目を開けてごらん」と促しても、顔を胸に埋めて、見ようとしなかった。「花火はこわがって、ムリ」とその時、思ったのだが、先週あたりから、「花火、どーん、ピカピカ〜だよー」といった発言をするので、「花火、楽しみだね」と聞くと、「うん」と言う。保育園で情報を得て、花火に免疫ができたのだろうか?もしかして、見られる? 
On Saturday, we had firework of city festival. In July 4th, US army had fireworks, and she was so scared that never watched them pushing her face hard onto my breast. But this time, she talked about fireworks, "Bomb! and twinkling!" Probably she got some knowledge at the school. So I started to expect that she might enjoy this time.
On the night of summer festival, we had BBQ dinner. She took bath and waited for the fireworks花火の夜、バーベキュー的な食事をしながら、気分を盛り上げる。ナノカも楽しそうだ。
When she was playing the house, the first firework opened. しかし、一発めの花火があがると(最初に気づいたのは、ナノカ。ナノカの顔が硬直したので、私も気づいた)
In a sight of that, she ran to me and clung fast with her eyes closed tight. I explained it was not scarely and she could understand once she looked at it, but she never opened her eyes after that. I brushed her teeth as she closed her eyes and opened her mouth(it was actually easier than usual, and brought her to the bed to let her sleep.それを見た途端、私に飛びついてきて、以後、目を固くつぶり、しがみついたまま、全く動かなくなった。「見たらきれいだから、こわくないから」と促しても、全く、聞いてない。仕方なく、そのまま歯を磨き(目を閉じて固まったまま、口を開けるので、いつもより、やりやすかった)、布団に寝かした。光が入らないようにカーテンも閉め切った部屋で、ご就寝。私も、花火前半は全く、見れなかった。
Next day, we went to the beach for the first time this summer. She was so excited on the way to drive there, but in front of the ocean, she froze and started to say, "scared" climbing me and husband and never tried new experience. I was afraid that beach would be NG like the firework...次の日は今年初の海水浴。「海いくよー」と、大喜びだったナノカだが、海を目の前にすると、ガッチガチに固まった。そして、「コワイ」。海もダメ、、、?
日曜日、平戸の根獅子海岸へ、今年初めての海水浴に行った。あいにくの「雷注意報」と雨予想の天気ではあったが、この日を逃すと、短い海水浴期間を逃しそうだったので、強行した。
お弁当やら、水着、浮き輪を準備する私達を見て、ナノカは興奮状態。7時前に家を出発すると、「海、行こうね」「お弁当、食べるよ」とパンダのぬいぐるみに語りかけ、「あなたのまるまるは、大きなまるまる〜」という、よくわからないオリジナルソングを上機嫌で歌っていた。途中で、海水浴場が見えたのに、素通りしたら(目的地ではなかったので)、長期にわたる興奮状態が押さえられなくなり、大声で「海に行きたいのよお」と、泣き出した。「ちゃんと着くから」と説明しても、納得できず。
そんなに楽しみにしていたはずの海だったが、実際に、目の前にすると「、、、」と固まっている。イヤな兆候だ。そして、「コワイ」の言葉が出ると、しがみついてきて、相方や私の誘いにも、全く乗らず、しばらくは、砂浜に降りる事も拒否。「あっちに帰る」と駐車場を指さす。これでは、花火の二の舞かと、ガッカリし始めた。
しかし、非常に根気が行ったが、 海は好きになった。まずは、浜でお弁当を食べさせ、雰囲気に慣れさせた後、貝を拾い(少しずつ、海岸に近づき)、波打ち際で絵を描いて、抱っこで海に。その後、抱っこで海に浸かり、浮き輪で波乗りをし、最終的には、一人で波打ち際を走り回れるまでになった。
海水浴自体は、「絶対経験しなくてはいけない事」ではないのかもしれないのだけど(花火も)、波とか、砂が足につく感じとか、潮のにおいや味とか、他の子たちがキャアキャア言ってる雰囲気とか、肌でしか感じられない、貴重な体験だとも思う。一方、ナノカが感じている「コワイ」も、実はとても正当性があるもので、「自然の脅威」が、そこには存在している。波に体が引きずられる感覚は、大人の私でも、「気を抜くと、沖に流される。命に関わるな」と危険信号を感じる。
上手に促しながら、怖がりナノカにも、ちょっとずつ経験増やしてあげられたらな、と思う。
On Sunday, we went to the beach. To see our preparing for that, Nanoka was so excited. She was so happy that sang an original song, "your circle is big circle, and blue♪" We had no idea what she was singing about. We passed by the beach on the way and she started to cry, "I want to go to beach" even we explained that we would go to the different one. Probably excited too long.
But in front of the beach, she froze. She was speechless and stared at the waves. It was not good sign. Then she said, "scared." She even denied to stand on the sand. "We should go back to the car" I and husband felt disappointed that she would hate the sea like the fireworks.
As to the sea, she became liking at the end. We patiently spent time to let her getting used it-first ate lunch on the beach, slowly approaching to the shore to collect the shells, drew the circle on the sand around the wateredge. Finally she was dipped into the sea in husband's arms. She even enjoy the waves in the tube and enjoying with the waves by herself at the water edge.
Beach might be not neccesary experience as fireworks. But the real feeling of the nature is very precious lessons. The smell, taste of sea water, the touch of the sand on the feet, the natural waves that the earth makes. It is reasonable for Nanoka to feel the fear to the sea. The nature has power, very strong one, and it is easily to take our life. I feel the fear in the waves that I would be easily brought to the offshore if I become careless.
I still want this sissy girl to experience real nature and new things one by one. The world is so big and amazing.

2 件のコメント:

Tonykaku さんのコメント...

good stories...fear of the unknown is a powerful thing.
i try but cannot remember my first experience with seeing fireworks and seeing the ocean. now i live very near the ocean and love to swim in the ocean. i sawm yesterday in the ocean and in a swimming pool. where i live, we have a nice pool which i like also. but, to swim in the ocean is like an adventure. as for fireworks, i have many many wonderful memories of hanabi taikai in Japan. i hope you and your Family have more wonderful summer memories...and please keep sharing them. oh, yesterday i swam and played in the pool with a cute 5 year old girl named Mailen. she is a very good swimmer and has overcome her fear of the water....she has too much energy. i am sure she will want to swim again today. you can see her photos in my blog.

にしむらかえ Kae Nishimura さんのコメント...

I think summer is special. I have so many summer memories of childhood. For some reasons it made me feel a bit melancholy but it has smell, wind, and color. I guess this is the reasons why I want to share the experiences with Nanoka.
I envy you that you have access to the great ocean and pool nearby. It would be great life!