2013年10月9日

Baby has gone back to the sky ミニミニちゃん、お空に帰る

長らく、ブログをストップしていて、すみません。
前回の検診で、赤ちゃんの心拍が止まってしまい、お空に帰っていってしまいました。
今回、まだ安定期に入っていないのに、妊娠報告をしてしまったため、このような報告もしなくてはいけなくなり、周りの方に、気を遣わせてしまう事になりそうで、申し訳ありません。
ただ、親も高齢のため、里帰り出産が難しかったり、核家族が新しい土地で出産に望むため、早くから情報を集めなくてはいけなかったり、子連れで寝込む訳にもいかず、ツワリへの周囲の協力が必要だったり、、等、やむを得なかった事情もありました(そして、やはり、うれしかったのです)。
手術の翌日には、下痢嘔吐風邪をナノカが拾って来て、対応に追われ、また、私も現在進行形の仕事を抱えており、日常に肩を押してもらう形で、元気を取り戻しています。
とても、残念な結果になってしまいましたが、ミニミニちゃんが来てくれたからこそ、一人の人間が健康に生まれてくる事がどれほどの奇跡なのか、改めて実感し、ナノカの存在にも感謝し、自分達の幸せを省みる事にもなりました。
少し、生活が落ち着いたら、あらためて、絵を描いたり、お参りに行ったりして、家族でゆっくり、ミニミニちゃんとお別れの儀式をしたいと思っています。
とりあえず、長らく、ブログを放っておいてしまったので、ご報告を。
私達は元気なので、どうぞ、今度お会いする時は、普通に接して頂ければ、うれしいです。
Sorry to have a long silence in the blog. I hesitated to inform sad news. Baby in my womb had stopped its heart beat at the second echo exam and I got operation afterwords. It has gone to the heaven very early.
It happened to early maternity so often, and I should not have informed my pregnancy this early maybe, but I needed to collect the information to find the good clinic at new place, need some help since I had no relatives here and moreover, I was just so happy. I am so sorry to end up letting my friends to worry about us.
Right after an operation, Nanoka got sick and I had to take care of her and also I had illustration job to do right now,,,I have been too busy to mind the fact. Actually it helps me a lot to recover.
It was sad result, but this tiny spirit told me a lot. How miracle for a human being reach to the birth-I thanked to the existence of Nanoka. How lucky I am.
We are fine, and I thankfully ask my friends just be as usual when we meet next time.
Later on, after I finished this job, I will have time to think over, paint a private picture to say good by to baby.
Sorry to have a short notice. Hope love to everybody.
Kae

6 件のコメント:

Tonykaku さんのコメント...

although i only know of you thru the internet... i was (am) sad to read of your loss. kotoba ni dekinai...

Unknown さんのコメント...

I'm a follower of your blog but this is the first time I make a comment. Iam so sorry about your baby. His/her existence was very short but the lesson he/she came to show you was big, his/her mission is now complete. I'm going to say you something that people(catholic) in my place say: Now your angel is in heaven and will watch over your from there.

にしむらかえ Kae Nishimura さんのコメント...

Tonykaku-san, Thank you for your warm message. I felt your warm sympathy and it was very touchy.

にしむらかえ Kae Nishimura さんのコメント...

Grace Lowen-san,
I did not know the existence of someone whom I did not know in person but still share my life.
Thank you for your words. It is very interesting. In Buddhism, people believe that unborn baby's spirit is the purest and they straight go to the heaven. I am not so religious but I am believing that she/he is now in the beautiful and peaceful place.

trey さんのコメント...

I am so sorry, Kae. I am giving you a long distance hug.

にしむらかえ Kae Nishimura さんのコメント...

Thank you, Trey.
I feel warm hug even from far away.