コスモスでは、自分の身の 回りの事を、自分でできるよう、訓練していく。着替えの入ったかごを、自分で管理し、トイレに自主的に行き、給食の配膳もする(違う4つのお皿を、自分の 席に運ぶ)。2歳になりたてのナノカには、かなりハードルの高い事ばかりだ。しかし、見栄っ張りのナノカは、保育園では、ねを上げない。なんでも、お姉ちゃ ん達がしているように、しようとがんばる。先生曰く、「なかなか気が強くて、手強い」らしいが、「できない」所を見せたくなくて、気を張っていると思われる。という事で、家にクタンクタンになって、帰ってくる。夜泣きするし、朝は起きれないし、移動は全部抱っこだし、おっぱいは始終触るし、床に寝転んで、 だだをこねるし、、、慣れるまで、しばらく、これに、おつき合いだ。
保育園では、どんどん自立を押していく。ともすると、「ん、ちょっと、チビには、まだ厳しいかな、、、」と感じる事もある。同じぐらいの年齢の子は、まだ、お母さんと一日中一緒にいて、安心どっぷりの中で、暮らしているのだから。
Nanoka moved to the upper class today. In that class, she will be supposed to manage her belongings(clothing, shoes, bags and so on), go to toilet by herself, and carry her lunch to her table. It is not easy for Nanoka, who has just became 2. She never showed being down at the school. Teacher said that she was strong minded and not easy to deal with, but I guess she is in a tense to follow the class rule as elders do. Then she was exhausted at home. She cried at night, asked me to hold in arms all the way home, and kept touching my breast. It would last for a while and I had to watch out her getting used it.
Nanoka called me from the bath saying,"Mommy, I finished. Bring my towel" I brought big bath towel. She denied it, "It's not that"「ママー、出る〜。タオル、ちょーだいー」とお風呂から、ナノカの声。バスタオルを持っていくと、「ちがう」と拒否。 |
She got what she wanted and gladly dried herself. Well...I can mop it her drops. 思い描いたタオルが手に入ったので、うれしそうに、一生懸命、拭いてた。まあ、床は拭けば、いいもんね。 |
母親業は、正解もなく、自信もないので、他と比べてしまいがちだ。それに、非情なまでに時間と労力を奪っていくので、成果を求めて、「いいママですね」と言ってもらいたい、という気持ちも、どこかにある(これは、本来は、パパさんが「がんばってるよ、ありがとう」と言ってあげれば、済む問題なんだろうが)。でも、教育メソッドは世の中に山のようにあり、家庭によって、その方針も事情も千差万別。まさに、正解はわからない。ただ、がっつり子供とつき合いきるのは、それぞれの親にしかできないこと。みんな、よかれと思った事を、それぞれ頑張っている。それを、評価するなんて、ナンセンスなことなのだろう。責任は、結局、親にしか取れないのだから。
たまに、どの方針で育てても、子供はそれなりに育ち、もしかしたら、大きな違いは生まれないのかもしれない、とすら思う。愛情をたっぷり受けていれば、結果は、あまり変わらない所につながってるのかもしれない。まあ、そうすると、皿洗いのたび、ナノカのビチョビチョにした床を、掃除しているのは、たいした意味がなくなってしまい、がんばる気力が失せるので、わが家は、わが家で「これが、きっと、いいんだ」て、信じて、やっているのだけど。
Nanoka's school has policy that kids need help to be independent. So sometimes they are asking kids little pressure to be independent. Other kids staying at home are still under atmosphere where mom is always helping them. It can be stressful for this little kids, I wonder sometimes.
But I myself had same idea about raising Nanoka. If she got ability to do by herself earlier she would gain more freedom to do what she likes earlier.So I allow her to do what she wanted to including washing dishes, laundry even it made big mess on the floor and took three times energy and time. But some people might think that I spoiled her to be mean.
There are thousands of educational methods and each family has thousands of background. And there was no "right way" actually. It is hard because being mom is spending enormous energy and time and we wanted to see the result from that. Then wishing somebody said, "you are good mom!" Actually it is husband's job, I think(since there is no right answer to be good mom). It is nonsense to compare and judge the way of raising kids.
Sometimes, I even feel there is the same result after a long trial of every kinds of educational methods. If kids received enough love from parents, they ended up to be "not so different" people. Well, if I started to think like that, it is meaningless to mop after her washing dishes every night, so I just try to believe "this is good for us!"
2 件のコメント:
i think...i hope...Nanoka-chan will be allowed to be 2 years old while she is 2 years old. she has many many years to become older. and i think (from reading thru your blog and looking at your wonderful drawings) that you are a good Mother and you only want what is best for the happiness and well-being of Nanoka-chan...to omoimasu : )
i look forward to reading Dodo Days. if you do not mind, i will add my "comments" from time to time.
if you have any questions about me or Tony (Tony Kaku is my nuigurumi risu-chan). please send me an email at kevntony2@mac.com それではおだいじにkevinより
Tonykaku-san,
I think, and I hope that Nanoka is a happy 2 years old girl, too.
It is just mom's emotion that we want to protect them as much as possible like we do when they were babies, but she is now a little girl who wants to challenge many things. Yes, it will be still long time until her leaving me even she is not a baby anymore.And this is mom's privilege to experience one's development through.
Thank you for your comment and I am looking forward to it!
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