It's over is not over もうダメだ、はもうダメじゃない

I say "It's over" like a habit. There is not so serious meaning in this word actually. I just feel like that at that moment and said that. Usually I manage it and I go through it. But I just want to say and say it like habit.相方の口癖は大丈夫、だと言ったが、私の口癖は、「もうダメだ」だ。別に悲観主義な訳ではなく、思った事をそのまま口にする性格で、ちょっと辛い事があると、「もうダメだ」とおおげさに言いたくなるだけなのだ。

At the beginning, my husband took every words seriously. Every time I said something pesimistic, he got nervous. One day I had to leave him at the end of long holidays and I felt sad. I said, "I am sad. I do not have confident for long distance." But I forgot it after a while.最初の頃、相方はこの口癖に、ドキドキしたらしい。ある日、長い休日の後に、離れるのがさびしくなって、「遠距離はもうダメだ。辛い」と言ったらしい(言ったかもしれないが、別に、仕方ないと思ってたので、ただ言っただけだと思われる)

Later on, when we had some argument, he complained, "You said you could not manage the long distance. I was nervous after that." I just said what I felt, but I was usually accepting the situation, Anyway, I noticed the reason why he tried hard to see me every weekends.しばらくした後、なにかの拍子でケンカになった時、「だいたい、自信がないって言われたら、どうしたらいいのかわかんなくて、困るんだよ」と怒られた。どうりで、週末ごとにムリして会いにくると思った。

Now he got used to my words, "I cannot do it. It is over." So he never takes it seriously. I said every day and he ignores or just answers "you can do it. OK?" 今では、すっかり私の口癖になれて、全然、取り合ってくれない。「腹がでかくなり過ぎた。もうダメだ」と言っても、「がんばりなさい」「できるでしょ」そして、言い過ぎると、「ダメだダメだ、言わないの」と怒られる。なんか、つまんない。


Laundry Machine 洗濯機

結婚前にお互い一人暮らしをしていた場合、 生活必需品はすべて、2つずつ存在する。私たちの場合も、お互い、洗濯機、冷蔵庫、テレビからレンジにいたるまで全て重なっていたが、「古くて買い換えたいもの」と「キープしたいもの」が不思議とかぶらず、引越しする際に購入した電化製品はほとんどゼロである。それも、付き合い始めてから、計画的に、「これを買うけど、どう思う?」と、コタツ、空気清浄機、ミシン、テレビ、ブルーレイなどを、合意の上で買い足してきた成果である。If the couple lived in each apartment before marriage, it causes problems when they got married because each has same furniture and electricity. We had each staff but luckily what one wants to buy new one is the staff that another has new one. Also we talked each other when one bought new things. As a result, we didn't have to buy any new electricity when we moved in new apt together.
When we were living one by one, both had each laundry machine. His one was more than 10 years old and old fashion. He put the mark for the car showing "I am beginner driver"お互い別々に一人暮らしをしていたので、どちらも洗濯機を持っていた。相方の洗濯機は10年越しの古いもので、なぜか、初心者マークが張ってあった。

I had just bought new laundry machine. It was the latest and most expensive staff in my apt. I proudly showed him off.私の洗濯機は、一人暮らしを始めたばかりだったので、最新式のドラム式だった。私のアパートの中でもひときわ目立っていて(それと、テーブルしかない部屋だったのだ)、そして高価なものだった。私は、見せびらかした。

I sometimes joked,"you wanted to marry, because I have latest laundry machine."わたしは、「私のドラム式が目当てなのね」と、かなりしつこく、言っていた。

When we moved in new apt, he threw away his old laundry and I brought in mine. In a few days, I found "Beginner" mark on my laundry. I do not know why he kept doing this.結婚して新しいアパートに入った時、相方は古い洗濯機を捨て、私はドラム式洗濯機を持ち込んだ。数日後、あの初心者マークが 私のドラム式洗濯機に張られていた。洗濯機は変わっても、(意味がわからないけど)同じ習慣は守りたいようだ。


Mom's lover for ever ママの永遠の恋人

When I visited husband's parents for the first time(when we were engaged), I found old photo in his childhood. He has same face but just tiny. "So cute!" I said and mother in law looked so happy to hear.初めて、相方の実家にお邪魔した時の事、戸棚に古い写真が飾ってあるのを見つけた。まさに、今の面影そのままで、ただひたすら幼くて、小さい相方の姿に、思わず、「いやーん、かわいい!」と私が声を上げると、お母さまは「ふふふ」と非常に嬉しそうな顔をしていた。

I heard that boys are just special for moms. They are like lovers forever. Looking at Haruto, he said sweetest things to my sister all the time. For example, when he found cute hair decoration, he said, "If you put this, you will be so cute. Of course you are the cutest without it in the world." Can husband say that? 男の子というのは、母親にとって、特別な存在なんだと、聞く。永遠の恋人、と言ってもいい、とも。ハルトを見ていても、本当にすごい事を日常的に言ってくれるのだ。例えば、かわいい髪飾りを見つけたとする、すると、「ママ、こういうのをつけたら、かわいいのに。でも、つけなくても、世界で一番、ママがかわいいけどね」と。これを、旦那が言えるだろうか?いや、なかなか、難しいだろう。

One day when we were in the car, Haruto found nice sport car driving aside. He said, "I will buy sports car in the future. Even mom is old and wrincled, I will let you seated aside." If the adult men can say this, any kinds women will be theirs. How can he learn these sweet words?ある日、車に乗っていた時などは、こんな事を言いだした。「ハルトは将来、かっこいいマックイーンみたいな車を買うんだ。それで、ママがよぼよぼのおばあちゃんになってても、隣に乗せてあげるね。」これ、大人の男性が言えたなら、どんな女性だって、簡単に落ちるのではないだろうか?いったい、どこでこんな事を覚えたのか?と思うぐらい甘い言葉だが、母親は息子から、こんな言葉をもらえるんだなあ、とびっくりした。

So, probably my husband used to be the cutest boy to mother in law though he is now just middle aged man who loves wine and beer.I am seating next to him in the car instead of mother in law (not sports car, though) Thinking of my sister's love to Haruto, I feel that I have to be nice to him. 今は、ふつうのおっさんのように見える相方だが、やっぱり同じように義母にとってかわいくてしょうがない存在だったんだろうなあ〜(いや、今もそうかもしれない)そして、義母にとって代わって、私が彼の助手席を占領しちゃってる訳だ(スポーツカーではないですが)。姉とハルトを見ていると、「かわいい息子さんを頂いちゃった訳だし、やっぱり、大事にしなきゃなあ」と思ったりする。


Baby's size 赤ちゃんのサイズ

My sister told me scarely story. "If the daddy is big and mom is small, the baby can be big because of daddy's gens. It will be so hard when they have birth."

My husband is bigger than me. But my concern is his face. His face is big and when we took picture together, we look like standing distanced. I used to be happy because my face looked tiny all the time."

If the baby is girl in my size, but the face size is only husband's? I was so worried. My hus said, "You are so rude!" and angry. Sorry...


Daddy and baby conversation パパとチビチビのないしょの話

My husband and I have been separated for three month for his work. I am now like the wife of long shipping fisherman.

The book about maternity said, "after 5month, let husband to talk to baby in belly. It makes men to realize he is father." I thoght "Oh my god! We will miss this part!"

After three months, my husband will be scared of my big belly and he will feel like outsider of baby's family? And my baby won't know his voice and wondered who this person is?

Then I make up "time of father and baby" when we call. I put cellphone to my baby for 1 minutes every night.

Actually I do not know what my husband said to baby. He said "it is our secret."


Fetus Character チビチビのキャラクター化

Haruto, my nephew is 4 years old and now in difficult age. He insists on what he wants and act hard on me.

Haruto is the closest kid for me and my image of kid is based on him.

When the fetus is moving hard, I felt that he is upset to tightness of my broom.

When my husband did not call for a few days, I said, to him, "baby is saying who you are. baby got angry."

He said, "Don't put original character to baby. It is based on Haruto." Yeah, baby can be very shy and soft.


No problems is not no problems 大丈夫っていうけど、、、

My husband always says "No problems!" I noticed that there was no reason to say that but just he was optimistic. I used to feel happy to hear that. 相方の口癖は、「大丈夫だよ」だ。実は、根拠がない、単なる楽観的なセリフなのだが、何か心配事があると、必ず、そう言う。かつては、それに私も励まされていた。

However, after I got pregnant, I became realistic. He kept saying, "Don't worry. It should be fine." "No problems. I will take care of it later." But I am now thinking, "How?" "When?" "I do not need just words but action!" しかし、妊娠して、私はより現実的になった。今、相方に「大丈夫」と言われると、「どうして?」「なにを根拠に?」と思ってしまう。言葉よりも、行動が必要。「赤ちゃんのお風呂は、入れるから大丈夫だよ〜」て、「夜9時に家に帰るのに、できないじゃん」とか、、、

My husband has a dream that he hung baby and go to mountain. 先日、相方が、「お腹に赤ん坊縛りつけて、山登りにいくのが夢なんだ〜」と言い出したので、

When I heard that, I said, "OK, but you have to carry so much staff-dippers,wet tissues, water, milk, trash bag,,,and no toilet to water. I think it is difficult." I am now too realistic for baby to act hard on him. I feel sorry now. We need fun talk sometime. 「ちっちゃい赤ちゃんの荷物って、ものすごいんだよ。数時間おきに、授乳だし、オムツもゴミも、全部持ち帰らなきゃいけないし、お水のない所で世話するの、ムリだと思うよ〜」と現実丸出しの話をした。でも、その後、ちょっと反省。実際に、行く、行かないはともかく、たまには楽しい話も大事だよね〜。


Nervous Pregnant Woman? 妊婦はご機嫌ナナメ?

ホルモンバランスが急激に変化する事も関係して、妊娠中は感情の波が激しくなる、と聞いた事がある。うちの姉は、やたら悲しくなって、よく落ち込んでいたらしい。だが、私は妊娠後、ツワリが苦しい以外は、精神的な変化をあまり感じる事もなく、「私って、わりとご機嫌な妊婦じゃない?」と思っていた。が、相方がたまにする発言で、気づいてないのは自分だけかも?と思い始めた。The huge change of balance of hormone effects on the pregnant women mentality. My sister said that she felt so sad and down when she was pregnant. I did not notice the mental change, but sometimes my husband mentioned it and I got to think it was only me who did not notice the change.
One morning my husband talked to me after eating dumpling. It smelled. I was sick of it.

”Don't eat dumpling and come close to me. Silly You!"
"You said Silly to me for the first time..."

"Really? I have never said Silly to you"

My husband had to wake up at 6:00am. His alarm started at 5:20:am.

Alarm kept ranging every 5 min until 6:00am. I was angry and asked him to change.

"OK" and he added, "Pregnant woman is nervous. I have to be careful." I just asked him as usual, but he seemed to be more careful than usual.I did not notice my change but I could be different after pregnant?


Silly Couple with Wild Duck バカップル with 鴨

When my husband and I started to date, he was devoted on wild duck family at the pond near his office. Every day at the lunchtime, he was alone watching them.
Many times, he emailed me about those wild ducks. He counted the number and told me. One day he attached the photo,,,
The photo looked like almost nothing but cage. I wonder what kind of photo it was. Carefully looking, I found sesame sized three black things.They were ducks,,,
On our third date, he brought me that pond and proudly showed me wild ducks. Well,,,they were cute,,,

We went to local restaurant to eat noodle. I looked at the menu and found funny dish. "I order wild duck noodle" He must be so shocked.

そんなショックにもめげず、相方は私と付き合い続け、とうとう結婚してしまった。3月に親戚同士のお食事会を開くのだが、ラトラスという「カモ料理で有名なフレンチレストラン」ですることにした。私って、やっぱりちょっと、黒いのかなあ、、、After this very wild joke, he still did not give up relationship and we got together finally. In March, we will have small lunch with close relatives. I picked up good French restaurant famous for wild duck dishes. Am I a little dark person?


cat's meeting place ねこのひろば

My husband and I have been lived apart for three months, so we talked everyday on the phone. Last month he was injured and stayed at hospital. There was many cats around the hospital and he told me about "cat's meeting place"

"Each cats gathered at one place everyday. They do nothing but just stay distanced and check each other."

"What are they checking?" "Well, to check outsiders or territory or female cats in the mating season"

"Sounds interesting. I want to join!"

"Well, you are over. You will be ignored."
Over,,,well I am pregnant,and it is true that I am not counting in the world of cats. It is your wife. Rude husband!


baby listens? 胎教はじまる?

5th month fetuses develop their ears and they has completed at their 6th month. Around the same time, the memory function of brain also complete. It means they can remember the sound they listen in mom's womb after 5th month.

I am now in the 6th month of pregnancy. It means my baby is listening to what I am listening. Should I spend intelligent life such as listening Mozart?

One day at the time of my 4th month-when baby's ears did not work yet, Haruto, my nephew, excitedly brought "Mama Talk", the tool to talk to baby in the belly.

That was very simple tool. One side is output connecting to the mom's belly and another side is for talking.

I put the tool onto my belly and let Haruto to talk. But Haruto freezed once he hold the micorphone. He did not know what to say.

So I did first. "Haruto came over. He said he is going to play with you when you are born. It must be fun!" and Haruto gradually got feeling about it.

Then he talked, "I will play with you. I will give you my bike when I got older."

Once he talked, he could not stop. At last he sang the old animation songs-same song twice. My baby was not listening yet, though. Anyway, if baby listen, will he/she feel nostalgia to this animation song after the birth?